The Gentle Alchemy Within

Believe it or not, we are all magicians. We cast spells every day. Yet, we rarely notice the moment we let our magic out.

Sometimes it slips out as a soft, automatic “you idiot” when we drop something, or a text telling our friends that we are “too stupid” to get a joke. Those words seem harmless in the moment, but they leave a mark. Say them often enough, and they begin to feel true.

For years, I didn’t realise how much power my own words held over me. I didn’t think of myself as someone capable of learning difficult things or stepping into spaces that challenged me. I told myself that I wasn’t “smart enough,” “confident enough,” “ready enough.” None of these beliefs came from evidence; they came from repetition. Little spells, whispered under my breath or cast in thought, quietly shaping an identity I never consciously chose.

I see this in others too. A colleague of mine often says she’s “too stupid” to understand something. She isn’t. She simply doesn’t give herself the space to try. But the more she repeats those words, the more her mind obeys the script. It’s the same with the person who tells herself that she’s “broken” or “unlovable”. Identity follows language.

Years ago, long before I thought about any of this and back when I didn’t particularly like myself, I encountered a Brian Tracy exercise to improve self-esteem that felt — at the time — unbearably cheesy. Stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eye, and say: “I like myself. I like myself. I like myself.” Every day. Over and over.

It felt ridiculous at first. Forced. Artificial. But I kept at it, mostly out of curiosity and the faint hope that it would shift something inside me. And slowly, it did. Over time, that repetition softened the harsh inner monologue I’d carried for years. The words carved new grooves in my mind. They made space for a gentler identity to form, one built on self-respect rather than criticism.

Today, when I walk past a mirror, I don’t repeat the phrase anymore. I simply wink at the handsome man looking back at me. It’s a small gesture, yet it contains the entire journey from disliking myself, to tolerating myself, to liking myself, to eventually loving myself.

This is the quiet power of language.

Not the loud affirmations plastered onto motivational posters, but the simple, consistent words we use when no one is listening. Words shape thought. Thought shapes identity. And identity shapes how we move through the world.

If negative self-talk was learned through repetition, then the antidote is the same: small, deliberate corrections repeated over time. Tiny spells we cast on ourselves, shaping the person we are becoming. We may never speak with complete delicacy or intention — we’re human, after all — but we can choose our words with more care. We can speak to ourselves as someone worth believing in.

So, dear reader, when you hear yourself say something harsh or absolute, like “I’m stupid,” “I can’t,” “I’m not good enough”… pause. Acknowledge your old belief, then rewrite it. Cast a new spell; not something fake or grandiose, but something true, like “I am worthy of love,” “I am good enough,” “I can figure this out.”

You are magic. Your words are, too. Use your power wisely.

Until next week,

Ric.