How I Found My Way Back to Myself

A few years ago, I found myself drifting through life without a clear sense of direction. My calendar was filled, yet I felt unfulfilled, often agreeing to things that left me drained and wondering why my choices didn’t feel right. I drifted along, hoping solutions would magically appear. Unsurprisingly, they didn’t. Wandering with intention is a great way to navigate life, but I still needed something else.

I once read a quote by the Stoic philosopher Seneca: If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favourable. This helped me realise what was missing. An inner compass.

The compass became my core values.

Identifying our core values is a profound journey of self-discovery. Though seemingly straightforward, the task is challenging, but deeply rewarding if we commit to it. So, how do we undertake such a daunting task? In two simple steps.

Start by writing down as many words as possible that resonate with who you aspire to become. If you can’t think of enough words, then use a reference (here’s a good one) and highlight those that feel right. Don’t overthink it just yet.

Once you've highlighted all likely values, narrow the words down to the top five that resonate the most with you. Carefully and intentionally identify themes and overlapping values. Merge words together if need be. You should have a final list of five core values, each clearly defined and deeply personal. Why five? Because simplicity is essential. The more values we have, the more tangled decision-making becomes. Five values strike a balance between clarity and comprehensive self-expression.

For example, after preparing my initial list, I merged my cluster of highlighted words that included “growth”, “learning” and “positive impact” into a single, powerful value: ascension. To me, ascension means evolving intentionally into my highest potential with a sense of awe for this orchestra of life, fuelled by my curiosity and imagination. Ascension helps me structure my growth and remain open to explore possibilities.

Values aren’t just abstract ideals, they’re practical tools that guide our everyday choices. Living by our values requires deliberate practice. Through this process, I ultimately defined my top five core values as: ascension, harmony, well-being, connection, and adventure.

Once we have our core values, we need to test them. We do this by reviewing the decisions we face through the lens of our values, and determining the course of action that best aligns with them. If we find that the value doesn’t quite fit, we refine it until it does.

A few months ago I reflected on the amount of sweet treats I ate thanks to a massive sweet tooth. My mindless sugar consumption clashed with my value of well-being, so I decided to cut back on my sugar consumption. However, a complete sugar ban made me feel like a was depriving myself, which led to frustration. My value of well-being clashed with my value of harmony. So, I compromised, allowing myself one sugary treat a week. Now, when I eat my weekly treat, I relish it.

By aligning my life with my core values I have found a sense of fulfillment and peace. My decisions feel aligned, my relationships meaningful, and each moment I live is intentional. I am not aiming for perfection, but authenticity. I am living true to the person I aspire to be.

So, dear reader, take a moment to reflect on your core values. What resonates deeply within you? Begin the journey of identifying your values, test them in your daily life, and refine them as needed. Do they genuinely guide you? If not, keep exploring until they do. Once you discover them, trust them, and let them guide you toward a life of purpose.

Until next week,

Ric.